The abortion industry has done some stupid things over the years -- like putting forceps on its Christmas trees, fundraising on Mother's Day, opening abortion "spas," hosting condom art contests, and offering Black Friday deals -- but NARAL's latest "#ProChoicePup" hashtag is so ridiculous that Babylon Bee had to clarify that it's not satire. "In news that should surprise no one, the abortion industry is out of its freaking mind," Joel Abbott shook his head. Apparently, the far-Left can't get people on board with their agenda, so they've resorted to man's best friend.
"This is Bandit," NARAL tweeted with a photo of a cute dog who obviously has no idea that he's leading a national abortion campaign. "Bandit loves reproductive freedom. Bandit hates anti-choice disinformation. Bandit is a perfect #ProChoicePup." Yeah, well, "Bandit also eats poop," Dana Loesch tweeted back, as baffled as anyone why NARAL wouldn't see the absurdity of their idea. And yet, on Tuesday, the same industry who thought the Valentine's Day promo "Will You Be My Birth Control?" was savvy PR, called for people across the country to add their dog photos to the thread with the same #ProChoicePup hashtag -- resulting in even more asinine responses. Like, "This is Penny. Penny knows that funding abortions is an act of love." Or, "This is Ollie. Ollie spends his time daydreaming about reproductive freedom for everyone." (Actually, Ollie spends his time dreaming about squirrels -- but nobody bothered to ask him.)
But as moronic as it is to suggest animals would be abortion advocates, that's only part of it. NARAL also recommends an entire publication called, "How to Talk to Your Pro-Choice Pup," with suggestions on how your pooch can be a good boy by "barking back" at pro-life misinformation. "Make sure your pupper knows it's in the majority," NARAL advises with a string of phony stats and polls. "Explain the connection between anti-choice extremism and white supremacy." (Sure to be an interesting conversation, considering Fido's vast, one-syllable vocabulary.)
Conservatives, as puzzled as anyone that NARAL would open itself to such ridicule, piled on with their own incredulity. "Is this kill-your-kid, get-a-dog day?" one asked. "Is the idea to promote pets as a substitute for children?" Most dogs are neutered, others pointed out, and have no reproductive freedom. Then, of course, there was the obvious irony: the only reason anyone has a dog is because they've been adopted -- not aborted. "This is Rosie. She was abandoned but found happiness and love and has a wonderful life with a kind and loving family. She's glad she wasn't aborted. #ProLifePup."
Now that's not to say the abortion industry doesn't have anything in common with Bandit. They also like handouts. And, like real bandits, they rob taxpayers blind every year. The point is, whatever NARAL's intentions might have been, slapping a bunch of puppy pictures on something as barbaric as abortion doesn't make it cuter or more acceptable. If anything, it's sick and disturbing. At the end of the day, these dogs have ended up like the rest of America: unwilling partners in a national abortion scam.